Tomorrow is the day where my love's mom will be coming over to meet my parents, making the engagement and approval of the wedding official. it's a chinese thing, where the parents meet and talk about whats needed traditionally and culturally before and during the wedding.
Dad and i was watching News together in the living room like we usually do, i find watching news with my dad our way of bonding. And then he started to tell me that now i'm going into another chapter of my life and i need to prepare to adjust as i go along. For someone who is used to being alone and having my own space, to sharing my space with someone and with a big family.
i am nervous , very nervous. Nervous of labour, nervous of change after labour, nervous of things that might not happen. (i am not pregnant yet- not married yet, that shows how far and how much i'm thinking already)
I ask dad, couples who don't plan to have children should not get married , what are your thoughts on that theory?
(its not that we don't plan to, we are just going with the flow of nature, i'm just ...again ..nervous of the what ifs)
Dad thought for a second and shook his head.
" Marriage and having children are two different stages" " Marriage is another stage of stepping into adulthood, Responsibility " Couples can stay or leave, Married couples are bond to find ways to make it through together no matter what and that is responsibility. You don't run but you face it and you face it as a team.
My love told me before " Children are by products of our relationship " is our relationship and the foundation of our love that matters.
Is this the little panic nervousness call 'cold feet'? i don't know. i get this each time i hear anything about wedding dates. The freedom loving Sagittarius in me is still a little nervous with commitment, something i thought no longer exist. But one thing is for sure, i look at my love while he is on the phone in the office, and i take a moment really looking at him, being presence in this space, i know i got a great guy right here and i will be a fool to leave this one alone. as i'm writing this my eyes starts to tear, because i'm really touched and im really blessed.
in the end i guest its my fear of what ifs, and i will never know until i move forward.
for now lets enjoy a stage at a time :)
